Political Satire by @NSgreatdictator
In a surprising development, Jacob Rees-Mogg (a minor English politician) has self-identified as ‘working-class’ making him eligible for arts council funds to employ someone to bake soda bread in his Westminster office. Soda bread has been declared the most working class of all the breads by a panel of experts from the Culturally Unifying Normative Template Society. As part of an initiative to be as inclusive as possible the Arts Council is trying to redress the massive class-based imbalances within parliament.
The number of MPs from a working-class background is lower than at any time in the past 50 years which has prompted the Arts Council to launch its Transitioning Work Access Through Sustainability initiative. In a bid to make working class voices heard more widely it has introduced funding for arts projects within parliament and in a bid to meet targets it has broadened the definition of working class to include those who are “working class of the mind”.
Quick as a flash, Jacob Rees-Mogg’s accountant realised the possibilities and got in touch with his nephew Calisto. Calisto, according to his LinkedIn profile had spent his gap year experiencing conversative dialogues with the indigenous peoples of the Republic of Ireland to share in sacred and performative knowledge around nutrition-based rituals. As a result, he’d come back with a very nice soda bread recipe and a mug with a shamrock on it.
Luckily JR-M who was already classified as working-class for tax purposes had a few minutes in his schedule to sign the forms. The arts project will encourage a resurgence of traditional working-class occupations. JR-M’s goddaughter Efimia will be employed to build a griddle station in the outer office of the former cabinet minister, next to the photo-copier. Efimia will be identifying as working class for the duration of the project by wearing a fragrance based on one of the special offers at the tills in Savers. The fragrance will be made by her second cousin Hypatios using the musk glands of benefit recipients, sustainably sourced locally.
It is not expected that the bread will be edible as such but the cultural impact of having MPs carrying out their duties within range of traditional working-class activities will probably be quite big or something according to a leaked internal report.
Read more by this author on Medium HERE
